“You’re a lot bigger than your finger.” But that finger felt so good.
“You’ll be thankful for that later.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” she gasped out between panting breaths as his finger caressed her interior.
He pushed a little farther inside and she felt a flash of pain. Making a noise of dissent, she tried to arch away.
“Shh…relax. This is your hymen and it must be breached for our intimacy to be achieved.”
“I’m not a Victorian maiden. I know that, but it hurts.” It was unsettling the impact a little pain marring her pleasure could have on her. She would have to trust him to know what he was doing.
But she was acting on instinct, too.
“I want you inside me when the last barrier to my virginity is crossed.”
“Are you certain?”
He smiled and nodded.
“As you wish.” He got up. “I need to get condoms.”
“Where are they?”
“In the guest room.”
He really never had sex in here. For some inexplicable reason, Cass was really pleased about that fact. Sex in his bed was for her and her alone. The newly developed streak of possessiveness in her nature rejoiced.
He was gone less than a minute, returning with a small box that he tossed onto the bedside stand. He’d already taken one of the small, square foil packets out of it and was tearing it open.
“Watch me. Next time, I want you to do this.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re bossy?” she asked even as part of her thrilled at his instruction. It wasn’t as if she wanted to look anywhere else.
“Demanding. Assertive. Pushy. Stubborn. Difficult. Perhaps bossy once or twice.”
She huffed out a laugh. “I have a feeling I’ll be using all those and more.”
“No doubt.” He pulled his hand away. “Now I make love to you, yineka mou.” The Greek in his accent was thick and strong.
She didn’t correct his semantics. She didn’t want to. Right now, for the first time, she needed to feel like they were making love. Even if it was just sex. Between friends.
And then, as impossible as it might seem, she realized in that moment it was because she did love him. She didn’t know how it had happened so quickly, or even if the feeling was real, but she felt a depth of feeling for him she had not felt in any form since her parents’ deaths.
And wasn’t this exactly what he had warned her against? Mistaking sexual feelings for real emotion? Only it did not feel like a mistake. And she had to wonder if the sex could feel so good and right for her without some emotion attached.
She wasn’t about to ask him, but it was a topic she would explore with some of her online friends. Ones who had more of a life than she did and might be able to give her the insight she needed.
For now, she just concentrated on how it felt to have Neo joining their bodies. It wasn’t all joy and yet rather than making her irritable as she’d feared it would, the pain felt even more intimate than the pleasure.
An indelible marking on her soul that would connect her to him for the rest of her life.
Though he was slow and careful entering her, it still hurt and tears leaked down her temples. He leaned down to kiss them away and whisper soothing Greek in her ear. She didn’t know what he was saying, but the tone comforted her and caressed the ragged edges of her spirit.
Once their pelvises touched, he stopped moving completely, giving her time…? She thought that must be it because the sweat beads formed on his forehead told their own story about the cost such patience had on him.
“I feel so connected to you,” she whispered as their gazes joined as intimately as their bodies.
His eyes closed and he whispered what sounded like no.
“No?” she asked, unaccountably hurt.
“Ne. Yes,” he hissed. “It is Greek.”
“You make me lose my English.” She thought that might be one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to her.
“Is it always like this?”
His eyelids lifted, revealing a gaze gone dark with passion. “No. It is never like this. Not for me.”
She wanted to say something to that, but didn’t know what. He was not declaring love or even an intent for something long-term; he was simply acknowledging that this moment was special. For all she knew, she was his first virgin.
“Zephyr told me it would be phenomenal.” Neo’s voice was strained, like the toll from remaining still was getting heavier.
“Sex with a virgin?”
“Sex with a friend.”
“But I already knew it would be like this with you.”